7 Reasons to NOT Hire a Coach
People struggle with this decision, the decision to ‘get help’ or not. Actually…I get it! I’ve been there myself. In fact, just last night I ‘paid in full’ to hire a brand new consultant for something I consider myself a novice in and need help in. It is a personal thing that I have not the knowledge nor the time to really deeply figure out. I want to cut to the chase and glean the decades of experience this person has, and not spend 20 years myself figuring it out. Makes sense to me to save time and get to my destination faster.. But… I have thought about it and wanted to for about 8 months before finally hitting the “Yes, register me” tab. So I get the thought process. It is a limbo space that most of us sit in for awhile before we commit to anything. But one caution for you is this: Indecision is a form of false safety and staying stuck, a protection against discovering the new thing. Your brain will always offer it as the better solution.
Brain warnings:
******What is this really going to do anyway? How lame am I that I need someone to help me make better choices? I should be able to handle this alone! This won’t change anything anyway in the end. What if I get asked to do things I hate and that don’t work for me? Maybe things aren’t really that bad and I can just live this way…after all it could be worse. It’s silly to spend the money on that. How will I explain this?******
Many get really close and reach out and say they want help and then go ghost when it’s time to have a consultation.
I have a story of a client who we shall name Nancy. When she first called me she was very tentative and I asked her why she had called. She said, I’m not sure, but I had a hunch I should. Hmmm a hunch. (Of course I immediately loved her for that.) Her life was not in shambles. She was actually very successful and listen to this…She was even thin! I say this laughing because most of us women think if we were just ‘thin’ we would not have ay problems. Ya… right. We began with general lifestyle assessment and working through ways to shift things so she was healthier. But quite soon we hit the real pay dirt… the fears that kept her from sleeping well, being at peace, and her relationships on edge, etc. Life didn’t really feel all that good and safe. I won’t tell you her whole story but I wish I could. It is magnificent and jaw dropping. (But everyone’s is! Yours is too!) Suffice to say, our sessions together deal with whatever is going on at that time PLUS a steady trek and pressing towards freedom. Inner freedom and peace. It’s what we all want, isn’t it?
So Nancy came on a hunch. Many of us have hunches deep inside and when we get our hand close to knocking at the door, we hesitate and stuff that hand right back in our pocket safely.
So I promised you 7 reasons why you should definitely NOT hire a coach for yourself.
You are sure everyone out there is just ‘selling something’ and just wants your money anyway. You know you have to protect yourself from these scams and empty promises.
You’ve failed before (maybe multiple times) and you are sure you always will again.
Making changes sounds hard and you steer clear of hard things or anything risky.
You would rather stay in the known space of your current life, even if it feels rotten and sad, and repetitive, than risk finding out anything new. Because lets face it, NEW is unknown and therefore dangerous.
You are unsure it will ‘work’ and you never do anything unless you’re 100% guaranteed of the exact outcome.
You feel it is never right (or rarely right)to invest money solely on improving yourself because this would be selfish.
Time is not an issue for you. You have years an years to figure out and curate the information that an expert has already invested and studied in.
A bonus: Money is very scarce and always in shortage and you know for a fact you will not have enough to be happy, so you must restrict it’s flow as much as possible.
Obviously i could speak to each one of these at length. But take a hard look at them and see if they ring true and keep you held back. I think these are all just the brain’s way of avoiding one big thing.
What are we really afraid of anyway?
I mean REALLY.
We hire doctors, dental hygienists, attorneys, physical therapists, because they know things in their field better than we do and could get us from point A to point B way faster. Hiring a coach, a 'CHANGE EXPERT is no different, except, for some reason, many have an idea that its weak to ask for help in this area…its all fluff. AS IF your quality of life were really a minor issue and all fluff.
The REAL TRUTH… is, I think, we are afraid to realize our own power and greatness. It terrifies us to think we could truly do anything we want and create anything we want, because that sounds terribly responsible. We might have to act on that.
So to Nancy, .and countless others who have made the call and followed the hunch… You have my respect and my commitment to partner with you with everything I’ve got:
all of my best tools,
my gritty badass never-say-die strength,
my humor and compassion,
my relentless commitment to freedom for me and for you.