“You’ve Changed.”
Circa 1969-ish
It’s an accusatioon. You may have heard it directed at you.
Life should be a series of ever evolving self-concepts and self-identities. Different seasons, different wisdom, different consciousness. Hopefully.
In other words you should be CHANGING.
circa 1967
I remember once being accused, by someone I loved more than life itself of, “You’ve changed.” At the time, it destroyed me. It felt like I had done something very wrong, like I had been a betrayer. Now, in hindsight, I realize that if I’m not changing always, I really have a problem. I may be dead actually.
(1980- Senior highchool)
Changing synonyms: growing, expanding, seeing more, exporing the self and refining it, becoming more free. (And this process is messy and can look like failure at the time…don’t be fooled!)
I write about MY life here because I think a lot of us share the same experiences, and perhaps it can be helpful, and less lonely to know you have company on the journey.
Now, as a single woman, with no kids in the house, and a business of my own, there isn’t much of my old life that remains the same. But those are just external things. The internal is vastly different as well.
About 43 here, with my 5th child, Liberty.
Same daughter about 12 years later at roughly age 15.
However, I did notice ONE THING that has remained unchaged in my life. It has been a constant quirk, if you will, that I very fondly know as myself. I am plucky, unshrinking, and intrepid. I will always go for it. I rarely see a closed door that I don’t think I can open. I trust myself implicitly to pursue the next better thing, the next step.
Now I’m a Nanny Ro to this pumpkin,
Because of this trait I find myself, on the regular, in places completely out of my comfort zone. Remember Pippy Logstocking? How about Amelia Bedelia? If so, that’ll give you the idea…never perfect (maybe slightly out of control if we’re honest ;) but always forging ahead. And I chuckle outloud and think, “Well here I am again, flying by the seat of my pants.”
But because of the repetition of this behavior, it doesn’t scare me for more than a second. I know myself to be a survivor, a victor, and a trustworthy human.
What about you? What has changed? What remains?
If you’ve been wounded or stung by “You’ve changed”, deep breath beloved. Of course you have. And so has everything. Find the truest depths of yourself- that SOUL PART of you that remains and let it lead you to further change and adventure. If you show up with bugs on your teeth from grinning, or skinned knees and tear stained cheeks…so be it!