Welcome To The Pivot

Well hello beloved and welcome to my blog. If you’re new here, a huge hug. This blog is different. Its a pictoral and verbal story of my personal pivots. Hopefully the photos aren’t distracting…but they help tell the stories. I don’t want to just survive…I want to do it well. To do so I had to become comfortable with the pivot

I am a ruthlessly determined individual. When I say I’m going to do something I do it. I am strong. I am clear headed. I am intentional. It’s all just my personality. BUT, I have learned some hard lessons in my 60 years and most have them have taught me to really evaluate when something isn’t working. This is often because I myself have changed and can now SEE BETTER what is really going on. I then can make a more honest opinion about whether I want to keep investing in that former goal or not.

Lily, Liberty, myself, and Bretley. Three of my girls.

PIVOT: (verb) -to change the way in which one does something, turn, change direction or course, adapt, modify, adjust. (noun)-the central point around which everything turns.

We are taught early on as women to be good girls, and if we’re good (follow someone elses rules and guidelines) we’ll be okay. So, wanting to be good) we aquiesce to this system and subsequently, we utterly forget what our very own SOUL MISSION & PURPOSE is. We actually no longer know. We cannot make contact with that information even if we look for it and strain our eyes for it.

Sad and terrifying outcome of dancing to anyone elses music in order to be good.

My sweet mama is one of those. She’s 88. She hates so many things about her life and isn’t shy about telling you that ;) but refuses to take a pivot. Ever. Zero pivots. I have learned from her I will practice the pivot often and get really comfortable at it.

I have made many pivots. Most pivots are scary. This fact will stop some and they never will.

My largest pivot ever (holy moly was it a pivot!) was leaving my marriage of 25 years. I had/have 6 children and at that time 4 were still at home at least partially. My pivot cost me everything. That was 10-11 years ago.

My other daughter (not pictuired above) Del, thriving at sunrise.

When you pivot you turn a hard corner and can’t see what’s coming. You can guess. You can hope. You can pray (hard). But you’re blind to any sure outcome. I am an utterly different person today. I do not regret my decision. Rolling around that blind corner was some heavy loss and grief (at the pain I knew my beloveds were going through), but that corner gave way to a sunrise of all sunrises. I am now a grandma of 2. They call me Nanny Ro. Guess what they want to do when they come to my house? Workout first before we play!! Go figure! Some photos of my beloveds are here. Part of my pivot was to create something NEW, not just take the old from them. That required bravery and creativity. (If you haven’t read my story check out my blog, Shame and Women. Enough is Enough.

Sully, my son…a bright resilient survivor of all my pivots.

When you pivot, others don’t love it. ;)

That’s the mild way to put it. Others expect you to keep doing all the things you used to do. And that often involves over-giving on your part I bet. So when you withdraw that pipeline…tempers and feels can flare. It is a loud,“How DARE YOU?!?” vibe.

Sweet Pop taking his final breaths…a major pivot for him, and lucky me…I got to be there <3

I’m proud of how he approached this impending pivot.

What do you do when people are mad at you for pivoting? Do not defend, or become defensive. Stand tall and explain your truth if they are actually listening and then let it be. Ruthlessly have your own back. Amidst this often aggressive response to our pivot, you and me, we must keep a calm center and head, and keep our eye on the sunrise. Keep heading relentlessly there, however slow the process.

Relationships are other common forms of necessary pivots.

Are you mean and uncaring if you pivot from a relationship? I beleive you are on the path of healing and evolving if you look seriously at your relationships and use the pivot wisely. Don’t save the relationship pivot for something really really outwardly bad. Instead be very selective, and guard your energy and resources well. Don’t over-spend. Set really clear boundaries and pivot confidently if needed. Will it be a bit dicey and uncomfortable for a bit? Most likely. But be loving and direct and honest. No one can argue with the reason, “I am really working on healing myself and to do that I need to be very intentional about my energy and life force and where it goes. Thank you for understanding.”

I’m a Nanny to these rockstars!

I am a Physical Therapist by trade intially.

It is a very well paying career path, and I’m good at it. However when it came time for me to go back to work, I took a pivot. There was something that felt more important to me than knee and shoulder rehab. It wasn’t the easist most logical choice of directions but pivoting to what was more interesting to me was a must. And that was helping women get free and healthy in their minds and bodies. Again…some raised eyebrow were seen, but this was the beginning (5 years ago now!!) of:

Life Flow Wellness, my holistic health coaching brand was born in 2019.

My clients and I get to do all the juicy stuff…body clean up, weight loss, ridding brain fog, onboarding satisfaction and happiness, hormonal enhancement, beauty secrets for aging, recipes, exercise, and so much more.

My most recent LARGE pivot was to sell my beautiful White Cottage that had been the childrens’ and my home for the last 11 years as we created a new life. I had more than I needed there. I wanted to experience traveling lighter. I took forward with me maybe a fourth of the personal belongings. I went to make some healthy brownies for dinner guests the other night and had to make them in a loaf pan…it was all I had! Ha! No problem. Guess what? It works fine. So now I am in a small but darling apartment which I have made beautiful and homey for myself, friends and family.

(Pivoting isn’t just always a response to something negative…it can be a desire for change, and for the strengthening of your ‘flexibility’ muscles.)

You probably have purchased clothing items that you no longer like or wear or feel good in. Pack them all up and either sell them (many sites available for that!) or donate them. Pivot your look. That’s a good place to start practiving the pivot. I think you’ll find it exciting and invigorating. And those are excellent concepts for the aging body and mind.

But set yourself up well for the 80’s 90’s and hundreds. Are you going to like more of the same? I don’t think we can lose at least trying some pivots on the regular.

What I see:

Many.

Largely.

Unsatisfied.

People.

Just.

Repeating.

Old.

Patterns.

(and not really liking it or very excited about it.)