Birthdays & Confidence
Birthdays are inevitable. Confidence around aging is quite uncommon. Confidence is a product of (1) doing the right things, (2) staying at it over the long haul, and (3) having a deep sense of self-trust.
You might rightly ask (in a whiney tone;) ) “But how can i know the right things when it seems like they’re constantly changing?” And you would have a point. Knowledge is expanding at such a fast rate it can be hard to keep up with. But here is what I would suggest. You take the very best steps you can at any given time, and when you find out differently, you are willing to change course. In other words, keep an open learning mind and don’t get rigid in your beliefs. Rigid (anywhere) is a death knell. Youth is never rigid, in case you had forgotten.
With that said, there are some ‘hard and fasts’ and eternal yeses in the health choice arena.
~ Good quality sleep
This is worth your time, effort and investment to correct and get right. And don’t be daunted…it can be corrected. I see it time and time again. It may not correct overnight but with the right steps it WILL.
~Time in nature
It is simply always grounding and healing and resetting of your body circuits. Get out, away, be silent, listen, be thankful. Your eyeballs, and skin need sunlight, rain, moonlight, and all the vibrations of water, trees, plants, mountains, streams, rocks. It’s like a giant spa treatment to be in nature.
Funny side story…Once I was on a really long hike and it began in a cold foggy environment. I left my hat and glasses in the car. Hours later, and much higher up, it was hot and sunny and I had already had a plentiful dose of sunlight. I decided to do what the elephants do and rub dirt on my exposed face and neck skin. as a natural sunscreen. I was pretty proud of my invention but forgot I had it on when i stopped in town for groceries on the way home and people were openly staring with a startled look.:)
~Eat foods in their most natural form.
Single ingredient foods. How many different ones can you consume in one week? Or rather how few packaged prepared foods can you consume? Maybe leave a little tally sheet out that you can keep track on.
~ Be as active and robust in movement as absolutely possible.
Sweat, breathe hard, have sore muscles, challenge your limits, test your balance, go back over and over to those postures that require flexibility like when you were a kid. When you notice something (anything!) getting difficult, make a mental note to do repetitions of THAT! Don’t give in to the desire to be weak and sit around.
~ Learn to quiet the mind and find inner stillness.
This is a modern problem but a real one. An active/over-thinking mind equates to a body always under duress. What that means is lack of health. Period. And this is a learned skill…it is developed with practice, so don’t tell me you can’t.
~ Invest the $ and time to unearth and let go your old wounds. (heal your subconscious)
Beloved, if you’re alive you have them and your body is crippled with them, even if you don’t feel them today. I see the pattern time and time again, someone who ‘shouldn’t have gotten sick but does.’ You can do all the things right that we mentioned above but if you leave this one untouched, you’re exposed to diseases that you don’t have to be. (In my humble opinion.)
Okay. So there are many other things to ‘figure out’. Is dairy good or bad for you? Should we fast more than ___ hours? Which supplements are bioavailable? To hormone replace or not? No more cardio? Does my body have a problem with oxalates? Is my iron-magnesium-copper balance off? Does my gut prefer pro, pre, or post biotics? Blah blah blah. All good questions, but they can overwhelm the best of us. Focus on what you DO know.
And stay at it. Stay at it to the best you can day after ay after day. Each day make more good choices than bad ones. When you feel weak and needy, find better and better ways of solving THAT.
I really believe this is my secret: Just keep making more and more good choices through the years. Each day I try and make one more good choice than I did yesterday. And some days I just blow it all. But the very next day I get up and dust myself off and do better.
Think of it like this: You have a body that wants to thrive, heal, cleans, detoxify.
In what ways are you showing up standing in its way? In what ways are you essentially blocking its ability to do that?
Finally and most importantly. If you remember anything remember this:
Confidence will never show up with the perfect body, ideal weight, good hair or perfect clothes (and I’m not against any of those). You’ve heard it before, you know it, but here it is again…
It’s an inside job. And it comes from being brave enough to try, to invest, to fail, to keep trying, to unequivocally decide not to criticize yourself. Be brave enough to stand naked, smile, and love every inch, no matter what form it takes.
Self kindness, self compassion, positive self talk and thought, self support, self inquiry…yes I know, a lot of ‘self’s’ but the turning AGAINST oneself is where it all fell apart in the beginning. I hear this talked about a lot these days and criticized by some, loved by others. But the inner critic is real and deadly and this turning to self has no roots in self exaltation or absorption or ego. It is simply the decision NOT to continue being an enemy of the past or present you. It is about going forward to be the best you can without shame or regret.
Happy Birthday Dearest…whenever that comes this year.
If you are doing the right things, as steadily as you can, and shedding the old stories of failure and shame you can come to the party with confidence.